Do you believe in dreams?
Actually, my dreams are filled with metaphor. Since when did all these begin?
The furthest one I can remember is about my mom. One night I saw her standing far away from me, even so, her face was so clear that I could see every detail. Between us was a transparent wall of time, I was not able to come forward anymore. She was there, hands on the wall, trying to speak. I saw her lips moving but I couldn't hear anything. Suddenly I realised that, those perished ones, they were sealed in the elapsed time forever, just like crystals. Once you lost them, you lost them forever.
Then in another dream, I went back to my primary school age. I met someone in class, thinking, Oh no, this is not correct, he is not my primary school classmate, I didn't meet him until middle school! Later it came the time of taking graduation photo. I was late. When I arrived, everyone had already stood in row, on railroad tracks. I stopped to pick off some flowers besides the rails, but to my surprise, these flowers are made of colourful stone!
At the crack of dawn, I passed a window which had light in it, saw a daily living scene of my sister and her man. Someone was chasing me. I just kept running, after a long way I reached the riverside and there were boats mooring side by side along the river. I jumped from one boat to another, finally came to the another of the river. A man was waiting for me there. He reached out one hand to hold me while I jumped down from the last boat. No! I gave an outcry. You have a pistol in the other hand! The man withdrew his hand, aiming straight at my back.
I was browbeat into closing my mouth by a green snake, unwillingly. Well, just pretend to obey it for the moment, but the truth must be told, I thought. Suddenly, that green snake appeared from the brick wall and wrapped around my neck. I was suffocated and forced to surrender. Later, I managed to cage the snake into a container, and went to seek help from others. But when I came back, one colleague had released the captured snake.
After Nan died in the poultry plant fire, I dreamed of the fire scene the other day. In that dream, I was there, in the workroom, when the world fell into darkness suddenly. I dreamed of the closed door, I saw people rushing around in fear, I felt the desperation-the desperation I could never forget, the desperation I would never forgive.
In a delivery room, I was under epidural anaesthesia. The midwife didn't wear gloves. How can you touch me without wearing gloves? I protested aloud. But it seemed that she didn't hear me. Soon the baby was put into the incubator. Two men were leaning on the incubator, smoking cigarettes. You can't smoke in front of my baby! I said. One man said sorry and left, but the other said: There is a little left-I'll finish it soon. I was so angry on hearing this.
Another day, I was climbing a steep hill. There was a little boy climbing in front of me, and that was my kid. He ascended so fast that soon I was left behind. Hey, kid, wait for mom! Don't go too fast. I called out. He didn't stop for me. Then he reached the hill, disappeared.
A young woman was about to fell from a high place. There were two group of people holding cushions to save her life, and I was in one group. I was looking up anxiously, hoping she would fell onto the cushion I was holding so she could survive, as well as fearing that we could not bear the impact once she fell. While I was waiting, she felt facing up the sky, gracefully, not towards any of the two cushions. I closed my eyes and clapped my ears with the ground, not bearing to hear the crash.
In another dream, I heard Jesus saying, God is love. I was not surprised at knowing that he had always lived as a mortal. But, God is love, this faith was so strong that it made him eternal.
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